What does it mean to have your own style?
I love the HBO show Entourage. If you watch this show, you’ll see that all the characters wear certain clothing that pair excellently with their own unique personalities.
They convey a lot of personality through their apparel. In this picture, you can tell a lot about these guys just by looking at their appearance.
You want to gain competence for what style works best for you specifically, and to feel the confidence of knowing that you look good all the time.
It gives you one less thing to worry about and one more thing to feel good about.
You want to know exactly what fits your body type, what colors look good on you, how to look “money” and make women swoon when you pass.
You want to have others wonder why girls can’t stop talking about your magnetic charm.
That’s awesome, who wouldn’t want that? But the real question is how do you get to this level?
The quick-fix solution!
Most people forget that you will never learn anything overnight. It takes a LOT of time to really “get” something. This is a generation of fast, instant, and easy. Nobody wants to hear that something is going to take a long time, and be hard to get.
It’s all about how bad you want something. You have to know what you want, and why. Then plan, take the steps you need to in order to get it.
Forget the title of this article, who says you have to master it in the first place? All you need to do it take it to the level that you want for yourself.
But the most important is knowing what you want and why, because those who don’t know the answers to these questions will never get anything they really want from life.
I’ve found that you have to have a real purpose for you to stay motivated.
The marketing tactics that have saturated our society make people this way. How did you feel when I listed all the things you should want in the paragraphs above? Did you feel excited? Did it make you want those things for yourself?
It made me exciting just writing it.
Most people don’t get past this excitement, they get a high off of it — giving them a delusion of accomplishment just for having the thought — but never take action.
Everything has a learning curve, but if all you do is chase some sort of outcome because you think it’ll complete you, you’ll be sadly disappointed.
So everything you want something, stop and ask yourself WHY?
Do you genuinely want it? Need it? Will it benefit you in many ways?
Everything that has to do with your first impression are all skills that can be learned. It doesn’t matter what you look like, where you came from, how you were raised. You can learn all the skills to be able to present yourself to any level you want.
When it comes to gaining a skill, the key is to enjoy the process of learning.
But to enjoy the process you have to ask yourself WHY you want to learn whatever it is you are after in the first place.
Not to just chase the end-goal because it sounds nice and because you think you’ll be happier. You have to know why you would be.
- Why do you read this blog?
- Are you genuinely interested in cultivating your own unique sense of style?
- Do you enjoy learning, and growing — the journey towards your best self?
- Or are you just a dabbler in search of the next quick-fix-it solution to a makeover? Everyone else is doing it right?
When it comes to handling their image, most guys just want articles on Dos and Don’ts.
They want somebody to just give them a list of things they should wear and be guaranteed that it looks good and that it will make them attractive to women. They want to know exactly what item they should get, and how to get their hands on it.
They want the quick-fix.
I’m here to tell you there is no such thing and it just doesn’t work that way. Even if you get an image consultant you’re still going to have to take the steps towards implementing everything you’ve learned. You can’t just get consulted and then go back to your normal ways as if everything will just magically take care of itself!
Rarely do most guys take the time to search who they are, what kind of image they want to present, what style they find themselves identifying with the most, and what seems to work the best with their own unique personality and physical qualities.
There is no easy button. Man up. Face the challenges in life. That’s how we grow. It’s what makes getting there sweeter, and worth the effort.
5 Steps To Get Started Right
Here are 5 steps to start you on your journey to most effectively and attractively presenting that SEXY ALPHA MALE inside of you that is dying to get out.
1. Define a clear purpose
The only true motivation is desire.
Nothing can stand against your desire to do something if you have have a clear and very direct purpose for doing it. Most people have no idea why they do some of the things they do daily. They are just going through the motions because they believe they should or have to. This is because they never stopped to think why.
Make every part of your life deliberate.
Ask yourself the ultimate end-all question of “why” for everything you do. I find that answering this question opens up so many doors to new realizations and puts sniper-like precision in everything you do instead of a scatter-brain shotgun blast of hit or miss.
What is Jae’s purpose?
My purpose for pursuing this knowledge and helping other guys is because I know perception is reality.
Do you see a young lady or an old lady?
Let me explain the concept of this so that you are with me here.
Nobody knows who you are inside but yourself. It’s what you do, that defines you. It’s how you look, walk, talk, and act that present who you are to the world.
When you meet a person, nothing you see is absolute. You will never KNOW that person completely. All you can do is take the little information you have and make a whole lot of assumptions and judgments from the way they look, walk, talk, and act.
The difference between your LOOK and the other areas of talking, walking, and acting is that your LOOK is something that people INSTANTANEOUSLY process without even having to meet you face to face. All they have to do is look at you for ONE second.
Depending on the IMAGE one presents people choose to either take them seriously or not seriously at all — with no regard for whatever comes out of their mouth. There are million others ways people treat each other based on their look. I’m not just talking about the physical but your overall image that you present through the way you carry yourself and dress.
The reason being is because of social conditioning, stereotypes, and everything else that life experience has taught us about people who look a certain way.
It’s just the way things are, and you might think it’s sad but the good news is that you can use this to your advantage!
You could act super nice, or super cold, and no stranger who meets you will ever know which type of person you really are.
So this means if dress and carry yourself a certain way, it becomes the basis you give others to start forming opinions from. After people form a first impression of you, anything you do after this is filtered through their perception. Everything you do is measured against this to see if you are congruent to it or not.
Setting a good impression at the moment of sight is critical because sometimes it’s all you get, when a girl passes you by, or you don’t get to speak to her for more than a few seconds.
Sometimes girls ask people who I am and nd will try to get to know me just because of my appearance.
This is what you want in order to further increase your chances with women.
Check out this picture of Clay Aiken, and think about what impressions his image in this picture give you. What does his image convey about his personality?
I have nothing against Clay Aiken, he’s a great guy, but it’s obviously not one of his good days. When he actually pays attention to his appearance, he looks 10x better.
(Uhh, which version of him are women going respond better to?)
With every interaction you have with others you are shaping the idea that they have of you.
Now that you understand my reasons and understand the concept of perception is reality…
Take 5 minutes to ask yourself “why” YOU want to master your look.
Is it to be more attractive to women? Is it so that people will take you more seriously? Is it to help you get a better job? Maybe it’ll make you feel more confident…
Whatever it is, give yourself some solid reasons so that you really know why you want get this area of your life down.
2. Always Remember That Presentation Is Everything
Theory told me a great analogy once — imagine a jeweler who encases a gorgeous flawless diamond within dull metals to create a piece of jewelry. What happens to the diamond? Would you still think that diamond was gorgeous?
I bet you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from that diamond and a cheap cubic zirconia. Nobody can tell the real value of it.
But if the jeweler places that diamond in an artfully and beautifully decorated piece of precious metals — in an amazing presentation– it becomes PRICELESS.
Think of yourself as this diamond. How are you going to present yourself?
You want the women to look at you and think “wow, he’s priceless“. We all know that diamonds are a girls best friend. What they don’t tell you is that it’s all about the presentation of the diamonds. You want to have all the advantages you can get in this game, so pay attention to your presentation.
Theory recalled watching a video of himself from years ago when he was on a trip in Asia, where in it he was wearing clothes that were way to big on him, and looked very bland. He now realizes that it conveyed all the wrong messages about him — that he wasn’t fashionable, probably not cool, didn’t have any girls in his life, he was messy and disorganized, bad in bed, and a whole lot of other negative things.
JUST by what he WORE alone people subconsciously made these sort of judgments about him.
3. Set Obtainable Goals
Set yourself goals that are challenging enough so that they won’t be taken lightly, but not too far out of your comfort zone to make you feel overwhelmed.
Take a few minutes right NOW, to figure out what kind of guy you want to present yourself as.
Write down a list of characteristics that come to mind when you think of the guy you want to be. How would you like others to view you?
Then write down some ideas of what this kind of guy would look like. How would he dress? What would his hair look like? How would he carry himself?
After you’ve figured out what kind of style you want for yourself, set benchmarks for yourself.
For example, once a week you could go out and try out the types of clothes that would convey this type of personality. Even if they are outside your comfort zone, see how it looks and feels. Try out other styles that don’t match your personality while you’re add it. Have some fun.
Make sure to bring a camera and take some pictures of you in the outfits so you can look at it again and show other people for feedback.
That’s simple enough right? To go out and try different clothes outside your comfort zone without buying anything.
Another benchmark can be setting aside a day to try all the different kinds of jeans to find what brand, model, size, and different style fits look best on you.
Or try making it a goal to find yourself one cool new accessory by the end of the month.
Do some research online and create clear goals and objectives towards what you want to gain the knowledge about.
Go with a friend for feedback, and have fun with it.
4. Take It Step By Step
The only way to really learn something is to compliment learning with experience. This is very important.
Don’t just read everything on this blog and expect yourself to be a fashion expert. You have to take the action steps, just like everything else. A lot of people want to learn certain skills but they all have excuses and few take action. Maybe you are part of the few that take charge of their lives.
Get out of the house and start implementing what you learn in small chunks. It’s easier to set small benchmarks than to just generally stare ahead at a goal.
Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to do EVERYTHING all at ONCE. Don’t go shopping with the objective of just “getting yourself a whole new wardrobe”.
You will get nowhere without clear objectives because you will spend too much money on things of which half of you’ll end up returning. The other half you will just not wear as much as you thought. You want to be confident about your purchases and know they look good. This is one of the biggest ways people waste money on clothes. They don’t really know if it looks good but just buy it anyway.
So take it piece by piece.
Devote a month to finding the accessories that best present your personality. Do research online, look at prices, try things on at different stores, make mental notes of what you see on other people that look nice, etc.
Devote the next month to mastering another field for yourself. For example master the knowledge of what colors look best on you. Go to the mall and try on as many different colors as you can and take pictures of yourself.
Post these up on the internet and ask for feedback in the forums, or scroll through them with your friends and ask them for feedback. Ask your family, girls, everyone. Make sure you write down what colors get the most opinions, or at least what kind of colors – bright, dark, warm tones, cool tones.
Then devote the next month to another area, and keep on doing this till you reach your level of satisfaction.
If you want an easy way to do this, just check out The Kinowear Bible.
5. Give Yourself No Way Out
Make it very difficult for yourself to get lazy or quit.
There was a point in my life where I had to quit my job and prevent myself from hiding under the feeling of “security” in order for me to get out of the rat race and off my ass — to be forced to pursue my dreams and succeed.
Sometimes emotions get the best of you, and emotions aren’t always in line with what you want. I knew that the only way I would truly be happy with where I am in life, was if I pursued running my own business.
You might want to go to the gym and get fit, but sometimes you don’t feel like going, this is a clear example of when your emotions aren’t in tune with what you really want. Along with emotional discipline, you must help it along by putting yourself in situations where it is hard to fail.
When Julius Caeser sailed over the channel from Gaul and landed with his legions on what is now England, he halted his soldiers on the chalk cliffs of Dover, and, looking down over the waves two hundred feet below, they saw red tongues of fire consume every ship in which they had crossed.
In the enemy’s country, with the last link with the Continent gone, the last means of retreating burned, there was but one thing left for them to do: to advance, to conquer. That is precisely what they did.
If you are really serious about changing your look, then throw away or donate some of the really old clothes that you have that you never want to wear again.
Get rid of all the stuff you already never wear anymore first. This clears up a lot of space in your closet for new clothes. Most people find it hard to part from things, but it’s just something you need to do.